First Class Feelings
by Darveyrocks
Summary: Darvey after the finale episode - Long plane flight Paula comes up


Hearts pounding and short of breath, Harvey and Donna ran up to gate C60 at JFK as the flight attendant is about to close the door for boarding.

"Wait - we're here," Harvey called out hoping they'd be allowed on.

"Ah, cutting it close," she replied, "Let's see those boarding passes. Welcome aboard Mr. and Mrs. Specter."

Donna couldn't help her smile, it had been a month since she married Harvey and it still gave her the tingles whenever someone addressed her as Mrs. Specter. The two made their way to first class and slumped down into the seats in exhaustion. It wasn't long before they were in the sky with a drink in hand.

"Hi everyone. This is your captain speaking. We are at an altitude of 30,000 feet. We expect a smooth six hour ride to Seattle."

All of a sudden Donna hears Harvey chuckle. She gave him an inquisitive side glance which only made him laugh out harder.

"Harvey, what's so funny," Donna ask with a smirk, not used to seeing Harvey this amused.

"I've never been to Seattle," he answered still laughing, "I've been so focused on our second wedding for our families, our honeymoon, and packing up our apartments, that it never really occurred to me whether or not we will even like living in Seattle."

Now Donna is laughing. Maybe it was the exhaustion, the alcohol, or even just the way Harvey was acting - but she was seeing the absurdity.

"I haven't been there either. Oh God. What if we hate it. Are we too fancy for Seattle?"

"Way too fancy."

"I know I said I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth, but I assumed you would have put more thought into it," she teased wrinkling her nose.

"You know when Louis said I didn't want to play in the B leagues… he was talking about practicing law. And I knew I wanted to work for the good guys. But - the B Leagues - could apply to so many things. I mean the Mariners are definitely no Yankees."

"And the theater - it won't be Broadway."

They both sighed both wondering if they made the right choice to move. They were New Yorkers through and through. The Seattle vibe, even with Mike and Rachel there, will be totally different.

"Well," Harvey let it linger for a moment before he could spit out his next sentence. He grabbed Donna hand and looked deep into her eyes. She recognized this look, it was the same look he gave her when he proposed. She knew he was about to say something huge. "Maybe, Seattle will have the right vibe. In New York, we were single and living the high life. But we are married now, and Seattle could be a great place to raise kids…"

Donna's face drops a bit. It's not the reaction Harvey was hoping for, which worries him. She senses his discomfort and tries to break the awkward tension.

"Harvey, you know it took so long for you to commit to me. But once you did… you really hit that gas pedal. A same day proposal and marriage… now we are talking kids."

"I know, Donna. But seeing you hold Lucy made my heart swell. Do you… want… kids?" He holds his breath hoping she doesn't say no. Donna turns away from him a bit and looks down at her fingers.

"I… don't… I mean I always thought I would be a mom. But Harvey. At MY age. What if I can't get pregnant? What if it's too late?"

She feels like she letting him down. She can feel her eyes fill with tears. She has to close her eyes to keep the tears from falling in this public place. She feels embarrassed maybe even ashamed that her body may not be able to have children for them. It's an ugly feeling. It's not a fair feeling. But she can't stop the guilt from taking over her emotions.

Harvey's head is down. He is lost in thought as well. His jaw tightens and eyelids twitch in the closed position. He's feeling guilt too.

"Donna. It's my fault," he choked. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come around."

"You weren't ready, Harvey. You can't force something like this."

"I wasn't for a long time. But then I reconciled with my mom and instead of coming to you. I wasted time on Paula and then more time after I ended it with her. We could have had a family by now."

Paula. That name enrages Donna. She hates her. She hates how Harvey's relationship with Paula made him treat her like she was an enemy. Donna feels sick to her stomach. Her head is spinning. She loves Harvey so much but… she's pissed. His relationship with Paula could cost them a family. It wasn't just a bump in the road. He chose Paula over her, even if it was temporarily - the consequences are huge.

"Why did you go after Paula," She mumbled, "It's something I just could never wrap my head around. You always went after relationships with women that you knew wouldn't work out. I didn't mind it because you weren't ready to be serious. But then you were ready and you went running to Paula."

"I don't know what to say," Harvey honestly answered, "At the time - I thought it made sense. Now - I see it the same way you do." He was silent for another minute, trying to come up with a good reason. "I think she was the only woman other than you who could tell me what to do. Maybe I was testing myself to see if I was ready for a longtime relationship. I don't know. I don't have an suitable answer. I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry I was mad at you. I was fighting for the wrong person. But when it really mattered. I picked you over her."

Donna sighed. His explanation was disjointed and painful to hear. But the sincere apology was something she needed to hear.

"Thank you for your apology. That was a very dark period for me and it's hard to go back there. I thought I missed all the signs. That after all the years of us being together, I was wrong about you… Us. Then I started wondering if I was crazy thinking there was more to our relationship than just a friendship. I had to do some soul searching but it kept leading back to you."

"I get it," Harvey chimed in, "The day I first saw you with Thomas. I felt all those things. What made it worse, was Scottie telling me just minutes before that you were my person and I should stop wasting time. When you left in the elevator with him, I felt like my world was crashing in on me and I didn't know how to stop it."

Donna finally smiled. Not because the memory was a good one but because it needed to be said and now it's done.

"Ok, Harvey. I'm glad we finally got that out. Now let's never bring up the names Paula or Thomas again."

"Deal."

Harvey put his arm around his wife and she laid her head on his shoulder. They fell asleep feeling even closer to each other than before.

"Ladies and Gentlemen please put your seat and tray tables in their upright positions. We are making our final decent into Seattle. It's a cool rainy day in Seattle. Hope you packed your umbrellas."

The sound coming from microphone stirred the Specters from sleep. Harvey smiled at Donna knowing he was ready to begin this adventure with his wife. His smile was greeted with furrowed eyebrows and a look of panic in Donna's face. She reached to the seat back pocket in front of her and pulled out the paper bag. She leaned over to hide herself from the other passengers and puked into the bag. Feeling relief she looked up at Harvey with a smile.

"Maybe, I'm not too old after all."


End file.
